Shielded From Shock
by Artemis Day
Summary: One saves people, the other tases people. Together, they make all their friends roll their eyes in exasperation. A collection of Steve/Darcy fics.
1. One New Text

**A/N: I've written a few Shieldshock fics in the past. It's not a huge favorite ship of mine, but it is the one Darcy ship other than Fandral/Darcy I find I really enjoy. I realized I had two drabbles on my tumblr that weren't posted anywhere else, so I'm going to make a new drabble collection, this time for Shieldshock. Don't expect this to get as many chapters as my Lokane or Winter Solstice one, but who knows? Maybe I'll get a really good prompt someday.**

 **For now, I hope you enjoy!**

 **This first one is based on a tumblr post here:** **post/155382079567/my-entire-life-just-flashed-before-my-eyes**

* * *

Darcy had just gotten back from her lunch break, and she was relieved to find Jane in exactly the same place she'd left her. The only difference was the empty plate of food that had been full before. Jane hummed and typed away on her computer, stopping occasionally to sip her coffee.

"Hey Darcy," she said, not looking up. "Could you do me a favor and call Steve?"

Darcy blinked. "You don't mean Steve Rogers, do you?"

"How many other Steves do we know?"

"Well, there's that sorcerer guy now-"

"Darcy, call Steve."

"But whyyyyy~" Darcy stamped her foot several times. She was distinctly reminded of her bratty cousins and their constant temper tantrums, but she didn't care. Jane didn't have the slightest clue what she was asking.

"I need you to ask when he's bringing back the laptop I loaned him. If you're that afraid of blurting out your crush on him, just send a text."

…okay, maybe she did have a clue.

In fact, maybe she was doing this on purpose!

Oh, that Jane. She had a mad scientist in her.

Still, texting Steve instead of calling was probably the better option. It didn't involve talking and she could consider her words over a much longer period of time to avoid any awkward mess ups.

Darcy went to her desk and whipped out her phone, typing in Steve's number as the blank text box popped up. The last time she'd texted regularly was a year ago with her last serious boyfriend, but she still had the art of typing without looking mastered.

 _'Hey there, Captain! Just need to know when Jane's getting her laptop back.'_

She hit send and watched the "Message Sent' icon flit across the screen. Returning to her daily tasks, she thought little of what his response would be or when she'd get it. Her phone buzzed five seconds later, but as Darcy picked it up, her heart leaped into her throat. That tinkling jingle was not the 'new text message' signal. Steve's number registered on the call ID under 'Incoming Call'. The phone icon danced to the tune of her poppy ringtone.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Jane called out.

Darcy did so without thinking. She caught him mere seconds before the call would've mercifully gone to voicemail. Her only choices now were to hang up or quit being a baby and talk to him.

"Hey Steve," she said, trying her best to sound casual. "You get my message?"

She could hear someone laughing in the background and a light growl of annoyance from Steve. "Er- yes, I got your message. That's why I called, I- _Bucky shut up! Stop laughing!_ \- sorry, I wanted to clarify what it is you're asking me."

Darcy furrowed her brow. "I think my message was pretty clear."

Steve coughed. "Yes, it was. It was extremely clear. I'm just not sure you meant to send it to me, and if you did..."

"Look, buddy, if you didn't want to give Jane's laptop back, you shouldn't have borrowed it."

There was silence on the other end for the longest time. Darcy checked twice that they hadn't been cut off, but the timer kept ticking off seconds. "Darcy, do you know what your message said?"

She was going to roll her eyes and says yes, of course she knew. She wrote it and read it herself… except she _hadn't_ read it. She'd just sent it. Without ending the call, Darcy went to her sent and clicked on the first message.

Her stomach dropped. "Oh. My. God."

 _'Hey there Captain! Just need you inside me right now you big sexy hunk of man you.'_

What a time to remember all the sexting she and her ex used to do. "That- I- that was-"

"Darcy, what's going on?" Jane shouted at her, leaning her seat back to get a better look. "Does he have my laptop or not?"

Darcy didn't know what to say, and apparently, neither did Steve. All she could hear in the ensuring silence was the beeping of Jane's computer, and Bucky Barnes, still in hysterics.


	2. Return to Sender

**A/N: This one is based on this** **tumblr post here:** **post/156812824757/awwheartno-liberteaandjusticeforall-tfw-you**

* * *

Steve stared at the box for two hours. Bucky knew because his dumbass punk of a best friend had it in his lap when he left for a grocery run at eight, and it was still there when he got back at ten. The box hadn't even been opened, so how Steve knew it was the gift he bought for Darcy, Bucky didn't know. It had been three months since he ordered the damn thing, and they'd pretty much consigned it to the abyss where all lost packages went.

But there Steve sat regardless, hunched over and staring at the neatly applied tape and brown cardboard with a packing stamp bearing his name. He'd perfected his 'woe is me' puppy dog face to a truly pathetic degree.

"Okay, do you want me to punch you? Or are you ever going to stop moping?" Bucky asked.

Steve moaned and his head sunk lower. Bucky ground his teeth.

"Seriously, Steve, you have to pull yourself together. Just talk to Darcy again. It's been two weeks. By now she has to have cooled off."

"I doubt it," Steve said miserably. "You know how she is. She holds grudges like there's no tomorrow."

"So you missed one date! It's no big deal."

"Five dates," Steve said, his voice breaking. "In a row."

Bucky blinked. "Five dates? How?"

"HYDRA."

"Goddammit." Next time they found one of those secret hidden cells, Bucky was going to kill it extra slow. "All right, maybe you could take her on a trip. Some nice tropical island on one of Stark's yachts. Repay her for those five dates and then some."

"She'd have to be talking to me first," Steve said. "But she's not. Last time I called, she hung up on me."

"That was a week ago. You really think she's still steaming at the ears?

Steve's answer was another moan, followed by sinking his head into a throw pillow as the package containing Darcy's new iphone cover slid to the floor. While he sulked and felt sorry for himself, Bucky stomped into the kitchen and grabbed his cell phone.

"Hey, Janie, it's me" he said when she picked up. "Doll, we have to do something about this. Stevie's been crying all day, and I think if he doesn't talk to Darcy soon, he's going to do something drastic. Like start writing terrible goth love poetry."

It was loud in the background like he'd caught Jane at a bar. That was odd because for all the time that he'd known her, she'd never been the drinking type. Then he heard a familiar voice in the distance.

"NOBODY KNOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEN!" Darcy drunkenly sang. "NOBODY KNOWS MAH SORROOOOOOW!"

"Bucky, believe me," Jane muttered, "you are preaching to the choir right now."

"NOBODY KNOOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEN! NO NO NOOOOOOO!"


	3. Hold Your Tongue

**A/N: Based on a prompt from glynnisi:** **/post/175489201620/kendryhills-eat-her-pussy-like-her-ex-is**

* * *

Darcy was answering an email from Jane- she and Bucky were adding another week to their honeymoon, the scamps- when the news interrupted her Telenova with a special bulletin. A crazed HYDRA assassin had escaped from captivity and was on the loose. Civilians were advised not to approach him blah blah blah armed and dangerous blah blah blah anyone with information on the whereabouts of Brock Rumlow-

"Holy shit!" Darcy threw her phone aside and sat up as Steve rushed into the living room.

"What's wrong?" He was in full gear, no doubt getting ready to go find that killer.

"I know that guy," Darcy pointed at the screen. "I went on a date with him like a million years ago."

Steve looked like he just found out she was secretly his granddaughter. "You went on a date with Rumlow?"

"I didn't know who he was!" Darcy threw up her hands. "You think I'd knowingly go out with a pseudo-Nazi killer? I thought he was an FBI agent. He wasn't exactly honest on his dating profile."

"I am so glad I skipped breakfast." Steve sunk down on the couch, his head in his hands. Unfortunately, the mental images were already etched into his skull, never to come out.

"If it helps, he was creepy. That's why there was no second date."

"Why'd you agree to go out with him in the first place? He's got to be twice your age!"

"First off, you're four times my age," Darcy said, "second, creepiness aside, dude was hot. Have you seen his abs?"

"I'm not listening to this anymore."

"Also, he looked like he could do good tongue work," she shrugged. It was kind of a lie (Nazi dude, in fact, had a fairly average tongue), but rustling Steve's feathers was one of her favorite things to do. Right after sending screamer videos to trolls on the Jane Foster fan forum.

Steve averted his eyes, staring out the window at some trees. It was a sunny day out, warm and windy. A small family rode by on the bike trail and a woman read a book under the shade of an awning. So peaceful, it was almost nauseating.

Steve hummed the way he always did when he was deep in thought. Before Darcy could ask, he was towering over her. He sunk to his knees and had her jeans off in seconds. It was a real talent of his, as was that smoldering darkness in his eyes that just dared her to try and stop him.

He pushed aside her panties, which was good because they were about to soak through and dammit, she liked this pair. His sinfully perfect tongue slid along her pussy, up and down getting closer and closer to her throbbing clit. Darcy moaned and reached down to rub it, only for Steve to shove her hand away.

"Not yet," he growled.

He lapped up her juices, pinching her thighs to make her yelp. She reached under her shirt to rub her nipples. Thank the lord she went braless today. She nearly screamed when Steve finally took mercy on her and went for her clit. He attacked it full force, licking and sucking, keeping her on edge until her entire body ached with need.

"Steeeeeeeve," she moaned desperately.

That was all it took. He sent her flying to the moon with one final nip of his teeth. He kept going through her orgasm, dragging it out as long as possible. Darcy briefly forgot her own name and where they were. It came back as Steve pulled her into his arms, putting his tongue to use one more time to kiss the life out of her. She clung to him like she'd die without him, which of course was exactly what he wanted. He always got what he wanted from her.

"Wha- was tha- for?" she slurred. He laid her to rest on the couch, stroking her clit gently with one calloused thumb to give her a few extra waves of pleasures.

"Because I'm an asshole," he said.

"Huh?"

He threw the shield out the window. When he got ahold of it, she didn't know, but it sailed through the open space, slamming into something solid. A grunt of pain preceded a black-clad body falling out of the bushes. Darcy shrieked, running across the room, not caring that she was half naked for the world to see. Steve followed, gun drawn. He aimed at the man on the ground, but it wasn't necessary; he was out cold.

"Is that Rumlow?" Darcy leaned her body out the window to grab a nearby rake. She used it to move his head to one side. "It is him! Jesus Christ, how long has he been out here?"

"No idea," Steve said. "Long enough. I noticed him a few minutes ago. He's really lost his touch."

"Did you seriously just eat me out to show up a deranged killer I used to date?" Darcy snapped.

Steve had the decency to be slightly ashamed, but mostly proud of himself. "Well… yeah, I did."

There was a lengthy pause. Then Darcy grabbed Steve's collar and pulled his face down. "You studmuffin, you! Kiss me!"

He did, and it was several hours before either of them was coherent enough to realize they should probably call the cops.


	4. Captain Ameribear

Build-A-Bear came out with a line of Avengers-themed bears. The company went all out and excluded no one. Ironman bear and Captain America bear were, unsurprisingly, tied for the most popular, but Winter Soldier bear, Hawkeye bear, and Black Widow bear were rising in the polls.

Steve would've happily ignored it like he did every piece of merchandise with his name on it. Would've, if not for Darcy.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" she'd shouted after tackle hugging him to the ground and shoving a fully accessorized brown bear in his face.

It even had a mini shield made of felt. The star was too big, but otherwise an uncanny resemblance.

Being the good boyfriend he was, Steve accepted his gift with every indication of loving it the way it deserved to be loved. He was still much more enthusiastic when she then proceeded to stick her tongue in his mouth. It was, overall, a fantastic holiday and he hated to see it come to an end.

Alas, it was now February 16th. Darcy had returned to her apartment following two straight nights of hot and sweaty lovemaking. Now he was alone with the aptly named Captain Ameribear. It was in bed with him only because he was too lazy to put it on the nightstand. Or just shove it to the floor.

"I got him special," Darcy had said while forcing him to hold it. He hadn't actually had a stuffed animal since he was six. "He even has a voice recorder. There may be a little surprise for you on it."

"That's nice," Steve had answered, lacing both the desire and the capacity to question her. They'd just had sex and she was still naked; her breasts in his face made his mouth water.

Steve stared at the bears' cold, black eyes. He could just about see his reflection in them. It frowned at him, ever-disapproving. Since there were few people whose approval Steve cared about (the list had fewer names than he had fingers) he rolled over and went to sleep with no trouble.

He awoke to screaming.

Throwing himself out of bed, he dragged his shield and a gun out of the closet. He broke the door down getting it open and shouted into Bucky's room.

"We're under attack!"

Bucky was out of bed with five guns and two knives before Steve finished the word 'attack'.

"What's going on? Where are they?"

Steve shushed him. "In my room."

He gestured at the gaping doorway with his head. No verbal communication was required for them to know what they had to do. The plan was already formed and in place, just like always. Call it super soldier telepathy or just years of shared life experience. They skulked into the room like the shadows of Death, weapons at the ready as they stared down…

Nothing.

There was nothing and no one in the room. Just Captain Ameribear, slightly squished on Steve's side of the bed.

He glanced at Bucky, then slowly approached the bear. Nudging it with his gun, the same hellish shriek emitted from the plushy toy. Steve leaped back as Bucky fired a shot in surprise.

"What the fuck is that?"

"I have no idea," Steve picked up the bear by its leg, careful to touch no other part of it. It didn't scream again but he wasn't taking chances. "Darcy gave it to me."

"Oh, of course, she did," Bucky grumbled and went back to bed, dropping his knives on the end table.

Steve could deal with him later. For now, he grabbed his phone and pressed one, waiting for his dear, darling girlfriend to pick up.

"You have reached the phone of Darcy Lewis," she said groggily. "I am not available right now as it is literally two in the morning. If you'd like to engage me in dirty sex, please call back at a more appropriate-"

"Darcy, what the fucking hell is wrong with this bear?"

A pause on the other end, then snickering. "Holy shit, I have never heard you say things like that. It's kind of hot."

"Darcy."

"Okay, okay, not the time. I get it."

"What is this?"

"Velociraptor." He heard he get out of bed and walk into the kitchen. Hopefully, Jane was already in bed or else working late. "Or at least a rough approximation of what a velociraptor might've sounded like. Hey, did you know dinosaurs might've actually had feathers? Isn't that so weird? And then people think they aren't scary anymore."

"Darcy, why did you put that sound in the bear?"

"As a message."

"What kind of message?"

"That I love you."

"What?" Steve rubbed the back of his head. "How does- you know what? Fine. I'm not going to question it. This is clearly just a 'you' thing."

Darcy squealed. "See? This is why I fell for you. You totally get me like no one else ever has."

"Uh-huh." Steve laid back down and shut off the lights. "Why don't you come by tomorrow and we'll talk about it over breakfast?"

"Sounds good. Night, big boy."

"Night Darce."

She was there the next morning at nine on the dot. She had fresh clothes and a box of frozen waffles, her usual offering. Steve was not in the kitchen, nor the living room. He wasn't anywhere Darcy could see at all.

"Steve?" She checked his oddly doorless bedroom. No dice. "You there? I brought waffles?"

She felt the shadow crawl over her, but had no time to react before a wretched howl filled her ears. It knocked her off her feet. Steve stood over her, a great big asshole of a giant (or maybe giant of an asshole), hugging Captain Ameribear to his chest. "You were right. He is pretty special."

Steve did not get any waffles that morning.

But once Darcy finished pouting, he got something better that night.


End file.
